Saturday, December 20, 2014

Taqwa






Taqwa; teach a lot of things to me as a learner.


Having the messy and hard times, I take a break to sit down. Asking myself why I am here? Looking into the sky, I see that way – the way that I had been past in my journey, and why it comes back? Even though many of years I take to ask that question, still I wouldn't get the answers. Here, all I do is numbing in myself; let it go the tears.

I try to forget all the things, and it doesn't work – even I feel I was dying slowly, I don't have a choice neither back to Him. And along the way, I just crying - not knowing why I have to.

Return home; I start living. Alhamdulillah for hold me again Rabb, even though many times I refuse to step it back.

I have a lot of question when Rabb deceive me on what I'm hanging on, on what I love most. But I always don't mind with what I had done to my Rabb. My sins, my wrongdoing - everyday every second - to my soul, body, people and Allah creature’s. And then yet I can still proudly question on Him - how ungrateful I am. It was too pain stabbing into my heart, when I had realize how I was being to You Rabb.

The Taqwa, is the key of what I lost - my soul, my Rabb bless. I don't have that key, that’s why I'm here - crying for nothing.

Taqwa; the border that you put between you and hell in order to achieve The One, Allah Aza Wa Jala – The moments I read on to myself; repeatedly, my inside totally broken - into pieces.


I had done many a lot of things. But I never put the Taqwa in every thing that I had done. And where am I? Ya Rabb...




©Dazz 

Projek Iqra

Assalamuallaikum,

May Allah Bless and Grant us for all the 'Nikmat and Rahmat' that we had today. I will snatch your little time to sharing this info.


18/12/2014

Pelancaran Tabung Pendidikan Iqra'

Assalammualaikum dan salam sejahtera Dazz
Alhamdulillah. Video Tabung Pendidikan Iqra' telahpun dilancarkan pada hari Isnin yang lalu di Facebook Projek Iqra' dan YouTube Projek Iqra'.  Boleh tonton di:
Sambutan terhadap kempen ini amat menggalakkan. Sehingga hari ini, video Tabung Pendidikan Iqra' di Facebook sudah di tonton sebanyak 3364 kali dan Share sebanyak203 kali.
Tabung Pendidikan Iqra' inilah matlamat utama penubuhan Projek Iqra'. Memastikan hala tuju anak-anak yatim dan asnaf selepas usia 18 tahun menjadi lebih cerah.
Tajaan untuk Tabung Pendidikan Iqra' juga sudah mula masuk perlahan-lahan. Kami perlukan sokongan Dazz untuk menghebahkan lagi informasi ini ke seramai mungkin keluarga dan rakan melalui media sosial mahupun cara-cara lain

Saturday, November 22, 2014

If I Can Wish...





When I sit
Looking at the sky
I wish that you just an ordinary man
So that
I won’t be hurting
For every girl that stop in your day
For every word of you that I have to chew; stabbing my heart into pieces
For the fight that I know, I am nothing…

Each time for dua’a
I can’t help myself to be strong
When my heart keep whispering your name
For the things that I used to make
It was being hard for me
To stop it all…

If I can wish
That you just an ordinary man
It just only the dream that I ever make in this life
So that
I won’t sleep
With the tears on my face…




©Dazz 


Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The Night.






At the night when I was totally broke down. A broken that drive me crying along the way that I drove the car without peace of mind - the night that was just HIM and me. So close. Too close.

Walk in the road that you never imagine to be placed; its hard. Walking in the cloud day, putting the smile on your lips can bring the joy to your heart; wash away the ash colored. 

The day I have to take walk in that road, I realize that was the flow, that He was destiny for me; Alhamdulillah. I walk that road. But I forgot the provision that I must prepare for the journey. And that's why I am here, crying all the night in the car without destination.

Living the day been realized that it was full of empty, it's hurt the soul. And the day getting hard when the body failed to full that empty. I lost my track. I lost my soul. Tears start to flow out - and I miss the day when I sit complaining to Him; how life being hard to me, how bad I am when I keep blaming people for how hurt I am, while I know that was a Test for me - to be a better person.

The nights throw me off that just can only make me say Alhamdulillah. Thank you Rabb, for the day - that I will paints to be a moment. A moment that will bring a soul when I about numb to give up.

Walking in the road that you never choose nor imagined it, you have to carry a basket of hope that sometimes be the inspiration; somehow be a burden, you must learn to carry the responsible, you have to engaged with people that sometimes can give you a misunderstanding situation, you have to wake up everyday told yourself to be positive, you have to chew all the spread word that crush your heart and bring you down. It's not easy; no to difficult too - when self know HE always there. As HE never promised that life would be easy; but HE will be always for us, accompany our journey.

If you wish to smile all the day, you will never know how kind the sadness - that when it comes to you, you will never appreciate it as you warmly welcomed the smile. Life will haunted you with tears, smile, laugh, break down, give up - to make you stand up go through your journey. To be a meaningful one - for HIM, mom and dad, spouse, siblings, and Ummah.

Those who rest not their hope on their meeting with Us but are pleased and satisfied with the life of the present and those who heed not Our Signs. [10:7]


191014
©Dazz



Saturday, October 11, 2014

Hidup Sebelum Adanya Kehidupan







Ada perkara yang kita tak mahu terjadi tetapi harus menerima. Ada perkara yang kita tak mahu tahu tetapi harus belajar. Dan ada perkara yang kita tak mampu kehilangan tetapi harus melepaskan.




“You should spend your time.”

Kening belah kanan spontan terangkat seinci. “Huh?”

Tudung yang siap dililit dipin kemas. “Enjoy your life.” Wedges dirak kasut ditarik keluar. “Tak ke mana pun kalau nak hadap kerja tu je.”

Kening yang terangkat perlahan turun; kembali terletak di tempat asalnya. Buku ditangan direnung sejenak. Memaku akal mencerna bait bicara yang menghantar bingung dibenak.

“Apa yang tak kena?” Bibir lancang memuntahkan kata tanpa sempat akal menegah sabar.

Tangan yang tengah menyarungkan wedges ke kaki terhenti. Badan kembali tegak.  Kepala dikalih tepat ke susuk tubuh yang setia menanti dengan pandangan yang kosong. ‘Bingung mungkin?’

“You don’t have a life.”

“What do you mean by ‘no life’?”

“Yeah, you kerja, balik masak, reading, writing, the same routine..tak boring eh?” Bahu terjungkit bersama lontaran kata yang terlontar tanpa ada rasa salah. Sinis.

“..And that’s how I live my life.” Tenang.

“Pardon me?” Mata dijegil luas.

“You heard me.” Datar.

“Come on lah Ed..you make me sick!” Tubuh dipeluk silang dengan kedua-dua belah tangan.

“Then what do you expect from me?” Kening mula bertaut. Nada suara ditekan. Serius.

“Enjoy. Hangout. Shopping.” Bibir yang perlahan mengoyak senyum memeta emosi empunya badan. “..ermm before that, I suggest you to spend your time using the whatsapp, instagram, or facebook coz it will help you making a friends.

Dada buku yang separuh terbahagi ditutup perlahan.“Zaman tu dah berlalu Qis..” Bibir mengoyak senyuman. “..sekarang ni bukan lagi zaman remaja yang keluar ayat ikut sedap rasa, yang buat gila demi layan stress, yang faham hubungan tu macam pilih baju kat shopping mall. Sekarang ni zaman kematangan. Yang terbatas dek dinding pemisah yang menjadikan lelaki dan perempuan itu sebenarnya lawan. Ada tanggungjawab yang tergalas menuntut sabar dalam menggali ilmu; belajar menjadi anak yang baik, belajar menjadi isteri yang memaknakan, belajar menjadi ibu yang meneladani, belajar menjadi jiran yang menyenangkan, belajar menjadi hamba yang sentiasa menagih redha dan rahmat NYA.”

Nafas dihela berat. Dada yang ketat perlahan bernafas.

“Ada benda yang boleh ikut gelak; tapi berpada. Sampai masa diri kena adjust; jadi matang. Nak ubah diri tak mudah. Semua orang ada cita-cita, impikan pasangan yang baik soleh dan solehah, angankan anak-anak yang berpekerti, bijak, dan soleh. Nak bina keluarga yang penuh indah bak lukisan yang dilakar tangan sendiri. Tak mustahil. Tapi agak impossible untuk sebuah cita cita menjadi kenyataan saat tangan hanya diriba menanti mentari tenggelam diufuk barat dengan harapan.”

Wajah yang tertunduk menekur lantai dikalih pandang.

“Macam mana seorang ibu mengharapkan anak yang rajin mengaji sedangkan si ibu sendiri jarang jarang kedengaran lantunannya? Adakah salah sang anak bila dirotan kerana meninggalkan solat sedang sang ayah rukuk dan sujudnya jarang benar kelihatan?”

Tubuh yang kaku diarak mendung dalam benak yang bercampur gaul dirapati.

“Qis..tak salah sesekali nak luang masa buat apa yang kita suka. Tapi tetap kena letakkan noktah.”

“Ed…”

Bahu yang turun naik menahan tangis diusap lembut. “Kalau kita tak sanggup berkorban hari ini, tak mungkin hasil tuaian kita akan tumbuh subur dan mekar. Hidup sebelum adanya kehidupan ibarat sang petani yang membanting keringat menggali, belajar, untuk menjadikan tanah yang gersang itu gembur dan subur agar akar yang ditanam tumbuh dan membesar; tak goyah ditiup angin dan tak terkulai layu saat dihinggap ujian penyakit.”

“I’m sorry..”

Angguk. Senyum. “Kita kena belajar menjadi matang untuk menggerakkan jasad dan anggota mencari. Belajar mengendali sebelum mengemudi. Untuk hidup sebelum adanya kehidupan.”

“Thanks Ed..”

“Your welcome.”


Learned to be matured behind what you lost. Allah didn’t rid-of without replace it with a better surrogate.






©Dazz